Thursday, November 25, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
You’ve got to love the work you do before you can do the work you love.
Cha Ching! My brother said it would be okay for me to share this catchy phrase with you. He is the clever one who made the statement. On the surface, it sounds like a nice play on words or catchy phrase, but if you really take a minute to let it sink in, I think you’ll find there’s much more to it.
I have heard a message similar to this from several sources. Everyone puts their own twist on it, but I really like the way my brother summed it up. It’s quick and catchy- I like that kind of stuff. But dig into the deeper meaning. What I believe this really points to is the facts that you can’t do/be/have what you think you love, until you learn to love YOU in the moment.
Think about these questions: Are you in a job you dislike or even dread? Is your home depressing you so much that you feel the need to move to another? Do you believe your life would be better if you moved across the country; maybe across the world? Do you feel you’d be happier if you had a new mate? Have you heard yourself saying, “Life would be so much better if only my circumstances were different?” If you answered, “Yes” to any of these questions, I actually have one more question for you:
Do you really love yourself?
Chances are, you really don’t. So, you can change jobs. You can change homes. You can change zip codes. You can find a new mate. You can attempt to change those lousy circumstances. But until you learn to love yourself you will not be able to escape that which makes you miserable. This is the message of the catchy statement. When you take it down to its most raw form, the fact is that you can not make yourself happy by filling your life with “outside things.” Until you genuinely love yourself, you will not really be happy with your work, your relationships, your finances, your circumstances, your life.
What will it take for you to actually, genuinely love yourself? How can you find beauty in everyday life? What needs to change from the inside so that you can live as you want? It really isn’t about the outside. The work lies within.
Want to know the joy of self love and how it opens you up to your best life? Need someone to be honest with, without fear of judgment? Contact me. I will be glad to help you start your journey. Remember, you must make peace with yourself before you can have peace in any other part of your existence.
Let the journey begin!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Grandma's fingerprint shows up
I was blessed last evening to hear Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea, speak at the College of Charleston. Walking away and throughout the night and today I reflected upon his comments which steadily hailed the value of the elder members of society. He spoke of the ways their knowledge, wisdom, and experience come together to develop perspective. This can not be acquired until you reach the status of elder. You can't fake the wisdom that comes with age.
As I reflected on the importance the tribal elders play in the villages of which he spoke, I really was lead to think of my own family village; specifically of my mother and her influence on my oldest son, Matthew.
My son was such a "fast forty" as Mom called him. But she never sped up. She kept her pace - slow and steady. I'm sure there were times when this exasperated him, but most often, he slowed down because Grandma would take time with him. She listened, explained, watched, helped, and just like a wash cycle, she'd "lather, rinse, repeat."
Mom enjoyed simple things. She introduced my son to a world where music was made using a pot and a spoon, where the garden was not neatly trimmed, but nature was celebrated, and where reading was done before bedtime with Beatrix Potter's characters.
In a world of video games, hand helds, cartoons 24-7, the Internet and more, Grandma remained a natural draw. Never was going to Grandma's a dull time. In fact, on many occasions we would take cousins with us. Everyone just wanted to be with Grandma.
While the reasons for spending time at the feet of our elders are not always clear to the up and coming "fast forty" generation, it is clear to me that the past is our key to the future. It is also obvious to me, as I continue losing my mother to Alzheimer’s, that I will always have pieces of her in my midst- I just look at Matthew and see Mom's fingerprint is there.
Whose fingerprint is on your life? Who has influenced your children? Click on the comment button to leave a tribute to a special elder who has influenced your life- or is making a difference to your children.
As I reflected on the importance the tribal elders play in the villages of which he spoke, I really was lead to think of my own family village; specifically of my mother and her influence on my oldest son, Matthew.
My son was such a "fast forty" as Mom called him. But she never sped up. She kept her pace - slow and steady. I'm sure there were times when this exasperated him, but most often, he slowed down because Grandma would take time with him. She listened, explained, watched, helped, and just like a wash cycle, she'd "lather, rinse, repeat."
Mom enjoyed simple things. She introduced my son to a world where music was made using a pot and a spoon, where the garden was not neatly trimmed, but nature was celebrated, and where reading was done before bedtime with Beatrix Potter's characters.
In a world of video games, hand helds, cartoons 24-7, the Internet and more, Grandma remained a natural draw. Never was going to Grandma's a dull time. In fact, on many occasions we would take cousins with us. Everyone just wanted to be with Grandma.
 |
| Grandma, in the pink sweater, enjoys time with her sister and brother. |
As I see my son growing into a young man, I see Grandma's fingerprint on his life. I see it in how he holds the door for others. I see it in his manners, "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" have not gone to waste here. I see Grandma's fingerprint when Matthew cares for his younger brother or when he carries a suitcase for his aunt.
Whose fingerprint is on your life? Who has influenced your children? Click on the comment button to leave a tribute to a special elder who has influenced your life- or is making a difference to your children.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Do your words cause you grief? Small shifts can make a huge impact.
“Look out! Glass!” shouted my husband, Rett, while, he,
our s
on Cooper, and I were riding bikes the other day. We couldn't avoid the glass. Each of us swerved off the path but nonetheless, ended up riding through a bit of it. As we cleared the glass break from the path, Rett said, “I bet you one of us is going to get a flat tire.”
Pop! Flap, flap, flap- that was it; the tell-tale sign that one of us had a flat tire. Guess who …. You’re absolutely right; Rett!
This time was different though. Cooper, Rett, and I looked at each other. The moment was a bit eerie. He just said one of us would get a flat and one of us did. Not from the glass mind you, but from sand spurs. Was this coincidence or spoken words coming true?
I know when I say things that are negative like, “I’m so fat. I can’t ever stick to a diet.” Or “I can’t get out of debt,” I set myself up for hard times filled with sadness and frustration.
On the other hand, when I say, “I love my husband.” Or “I am thankful I have a job.” I find my life begins to fill with better emotion and things seem to become easier.
Please note I’m not a drastic talker. I simply learned to take my negatives and give them just a little tilt. For example, “I don’t even know where to start in this filthy den” can be turned into “I’ll pick up the stuff on the floor today.” When I reframe my thought, I open myself up to a completion. After I clear the floor, I have choices. I can quit because I’ve completed what I said I’d do [and that FEELS awesome!]; or I can choose to do one more task. Over time, that filthy den starts looking and feeling better to me and my “negative” begins to shift …. just because I tilted my words.
So what about YOUR spoken words? What kind of life are they leading you to live?
Consider this: take one of your “negatives” and tilt it just a little toward the positive. For example, “This house/apartment stinks” could be turned just a little to sound like this: “I’m glad I have a roof over my head” or “I like that little shelf.”
Once you clean up the way you speak about your present circumstance, you’ll begin to see opportunities for change. Helplessness and hopelessness begin to take a smaller seat in the rear, while solutions and possibilities will begin to rise to the front and expand. Everything starts in your mind. Speak what you seek!
Again, what are you saying? How can you tilt it, just a little, to change your circumstance or, at least, to change your perspective? Click the comment button and share your experience.
on Cooper, and I were riding bikes the other day. We couldn't avoid the glass. Each of us swerved off the path but nonetheless, ended up riding through a bit of it. As we cleared the glass break from the path, Rett said, “I bet you one of us is going to get a flat tire.” Pop! Flap, flap, flap- that was it; the tell-tale sign that one of us had a flat tire. Guess who …. You’re absolutely right; Rett!
We stopped riding and looked at the plethora of sandspurs that were in his tire. Amazing, I know; sand spurs? Yes, here along the Grand Strand, those things are killers for your bike tires. We’ve all fallen victim to them. On one ride I was actually taking a moment’s break and heard the tire hissing- only to find the supersized sandspur sticking out of my tire.
This time was different though. Cooper, Rett, and I looked at each other. The moment was a bit eerie. He just said one of us would get a flat and one of us did. Not from the glass mind you, but from sand spurs. Was this coincidence or spoken words coming true?
I’m a huge believer that what you speak you seek. For example, if you constantly say things like, “This is so hard.” “I don’t feel good.” “I can’t do this.”… you get the pattern. Weeeelllll…. things WILL be hard. You WON’T feel good, and you WON’T be able to do what
you want.
I know when I say things that are negative like, “I’m so fat. I can’t ever stick to a diet.” Or “I can’t get out of debt,” I set myself up for hard times filled with sadness and frustration.
On the other hand, when I say, “I love my husband.” Or “I am thankful I have a job.” I find my life begins to fill with better emotion and things seem to become easier.
Believe me, I don’t live in a dream world where I’m a size 8, with billions in the bank, married to the perfect man, in a job I’d do for free (not yet on the job- but working on that one ;) ). Nope; I live a normal life in my size 10 jeans (which I am ecstatic to be in); with more college and home improvement debt than I like to admit; I’m married to a regular guy and I’m in a job I like- but would not do for free. However, MY real life- the one I am creating daily- is radically different from the lives of so many people I know. Unlike lots of my peers, I feel happy! I wake up glad to be me …. and I love my family.
Please note I’m not a drastic talker. I simply learned to take my negatives and give them just a little tilt. For example, “I don’t even know where to start in this filthy den” can be turned into “I’ll pick up the stuff on the floor today.” When I reframe my thought, I open myself up to a completion. After I clear the floor, I have choices. I can quit because I’ve completed what I said I’d do [and that FEELS awesome!]; or I can choose to do one more task. Over time, that filthy den starts looking and feeling better to me and my “negative” begins to shift …. just because I tilted my words.
So what about YOUR spoken words? What kind of life are they leading you to live?
Consider this: take one of your “negatives” and tilt it just a little toward the positive. For example, “This house/apartment stinks” could be turned just a little to sound like this: “I’m glad I have a roof over my head” or “I like that little shelf.”
Once you clean up the way you speak about your present circumstance, you’ll begin to see opportunities for change. Helplessness and hopelessness begin to take a smaller seat in the rear, while solutions and possibilities will begin to rise to the front and expand. Everything starts in your mind. Speak what you seek!
Again, what are you saying? How can you tilt it, just a little, to change your circumstance or, at least, to change your perspective? Click the comment button and share your experience.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Are YOU eating to survive?
The candy disappeared before my very eyes. It was truly amazing. I was training a group of teachers who were a bit unhappy. Well, actually they were stressed to the max. These were great ladies. They were totally committed. They wanted to do the very best for the children in their classrooms. But stress was eating them alive- so they started eating to survive.
When working with my peeps, I like to get to know them a bit, even if I will only be in their school one time. It is important to connect with them, because often, their first few statements don’t tell the real story about why they are in my session. Teachers, just like ALL people, tend to hide their real concerns behind a facade.
So when I’m training folks, I set aside some time for sharing a little bit about ourselves (so we can begin to see behind the facade). What I noticed on this particular day was that the energy in the room was really high-strung. I could literally feel the stress in the air. And I watched the candy disappear.
As we began to share with each other, the emotions connected with working within a new district mandated program became clear. I saw the stress that was causing this dive into the candy. These folks were eating to survive. They were desperately looking for something to make them feel better; and at that moment, the candy was their only source of “feel good.” They needed reassurance that they were doing right by their children. In the absence of assurance and recognition for a job well done, candy had become their substitute. WOW! My realization of what was happening to them was a power moment.
We began to discuss what they were doing under the new program. We discussed some of the dynamics of effective instruction. We also discussed their children’s reactions to this new teaching style. Here’s what we concluded: These teachers were learning a new hands-on approach to teaching; it was no longer a “sage on the stage” environment. Teachers were taking a backseat to children, who were creating their own learning. Children were experimenting for themselves and they were also becoming proficient at communicating what they were learning.
This was scary for teachers who were used to directing all learning. They were letting go of the status quo and embracing a child centered approach. AND they were doing great! They just needed to be told. They needed to see how this new approach was meeting the needs of their children; how they were actually pushing children to new heights- even though the teachers had been so unsure in the beginning.
We spent the day matching up classroom practices with effective teaching research.
The munching slowed down. The energy began to shift. One teacher laughed; then another. We began to get deep into the practices. We worked on some real issues such as: how to conduct an effect math exploration time, when to pull small groups for extra instruction, how to meet the needs of the lowest level learner in the room etc.
The teachers left that day with a renewed sense of purpose, a renewed sense of humor, and most importantly a renewed sense of confidence. I left that day filled with the blessing of spending time with such an awesome group of teachers.
So, my dear friends- teachers or not- are you eating to survive some discomfort in your life? It might be personal; it might be professional. Let’s treat ourselves better by taking a moment to discover what it is that we're eating to cover. Is it a lack of confidence; a need for some assurance like the teachers? Feeling “out of control”, unhappy, or…?
Stop, look, discover. Then deal with it! Just like my teacher friends in this training you have to dig in, realize what is going on, and put it in its proper place. You don’t have to eat to survive; you should eat to thrive. You can put down the survival food, figure out what’s triggering that kind of eating, and begin to make choices that will help you thrive.
What do you say? What’s eating you? Take a moment to click on the comment button.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Is the dream robbing you of your reality?
Sitting in our school cafeteria the other day, my assistant and I were chatting about her sister who is looking into a career in the travel agency business. As such, she was “required” to fly to a few exotic islands and spend a couple of days being pampered. You understand, the best way to sell that exotic get-away is to have had a first hand experience.
So on this dreary Monday, surrounded by 140 kindergarten students, teachers, and assistants all enjoying the regular Monday lunch (chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes, green peas, and peaches) we took a short trip down misery lane; lamenting the fact that we weren’t sharing the island experience with Sis. Then, something wonderful happened... we looked around at our children and realized just how much they mean to us; how they brighten our day, how much they have already grown and changed since the beginning of school.
We quickly decided that being in a newly renovated school, filled with kids who loved us, in a town that borders the Atlantic Ocean wasn’t so bad after all. We started counting our blessings and confirmed that there were many- in fact abundance! We almost let a fleeting dream rob us of our reality.
Now I ask you, “Is some far-away dream robbing you of YOUR reality?” What do you wish for that you do not have? There is a song whose lyrics say, “Life is not about having what you want, it is about wanting what you have.” What a great play on words. This is appreciation at its finest.
Now, does this appreciation make dreaming bad? NO WAY! Without dreams we’d have nothing. But here’s what I know. When I let my desire and my dreams rob me of the happiness I can find in my current circumstances, I lose out.
So how does one manage all this? Dreams vs reality... Appreciation vs desires…The future vs now. Here’s what I do and it works for me. In each reflective moment, I look around for something good and I celebrate that good thing. I recognize that at that moment, I am in it; I am part of it. There is no changing the moment- might as well embrace and enjoy it.
BUT- and this is the big one- I also regularly schedule time to work on my dreams. Yes! I make a plan. I take small steps daily toward the things I want. I know I can have it all- just not all at once. (Oh, by the way that little phrase will work with eating and keeping off unwanted pounds, but that’s a subject for another day.)
Back to the message at hand: Dreams are good, but they must not be allowed to ruin your NOW. Truly, NOW is all you are guaranteed. Live the now with gratitude. Enjoy the moment. Work diligently on the dream in scheduled times. As you embrace this way of life, you’ll no longer be robbed. You’ll be living fulfilled in the moment AND living out your biggest dreams. What could be better?
So on this dreary Monday, surrounded by 140 kindergarten students, teachers, and assistants all enjoying the regular Monday lunch (chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes, green peas, and peaches) we took a short trip down misery lane; lamenting the fact that we weren’t sharing the island experience with Sis. Then, something wonderful happened... we looked around at our children and realized just how much they mean to us; how they brighten our day, how much they have already grown and changed since the beginning of school.
We quickly decided that being in a newly renovated school, filled with kids who loved us, in a town that borders the Atlantic Ocean wasn’t so bad after all. We started counting our blessings and confirmed that there were many- in fact abundance! We almost let a fleeting dream rob us of our reality.
Now I ask you, “Is some far-away dream robbing you of YOUR reality?” What do you wish for that you do not have? There is a song whose lyrics say, “Life is not about having what you want, it is about wanting what you have.” What a great play on words. This is appreciation at its finest.
Now, does this appreciation make dreaming bad? NO WAY! Without dreams we’d have nothing. But here’s what I know. When I let my desire and my dreams rob me of the happiness I can find in my current circumstances, I lose out.
So how does one manage all this? Dreams vs reality... Appreciation vs desires…The future vs now. Here’s what I do and it works for me. In each reflective moment, I look around for something good and I celebrate that good thing. I recognize that at that moment, I am in it; I am part of it. There is no changing the moment- might as well embrace and enjoy it.
BUT- and this is the big one- I also regularly schedule time to work on my dreams. Yes! I make a plan. I take small steps daily toward the things I want. I know I can have it all- just not all at once. (Oh, by the way that little phrase will work with eating and keeping off unwanted pounds, but that’s a subject for another day.)
Back to the message at hand: Dreams are good, but they must not be allowed to ruin your NOW. Truly, NOW is all you are guaranteed. Live the now with gratitude. Enjoy the moment. Work diligently on the dream in scheduled times. As you embrace this way of life, you’ll no longer be robbed. You’ll be living fulfilled in the moment AND living out your biggest dreams. What could be better?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
What's the world saying to you?
You know your world is aligned when shoes begin sending you relevant messages! Check out what my latest purchase said to me. Here's how it happened.
I was recently nearing the end of a shopping adventure when I decided to make a last stop in a shoe department. I walked up to the 1st aisle and BAM! There sat this awesome pair of running shoes (I don't run, but the shoes are awesome). Immediately, my mind said, "Gosh I pray those are my size and feel good 'cause they are awesome looking!"
Woo Hoo they were my size and they felt good. They were a little more than I wanted to spend because I was in "bargain shopping" mode, but I put them in my buggy anyway.
After shopping and getting to my hotel, I began looking at all my purchases. Congratulating myself on a job well done.
I decided to put on my new shoes. When I took the tags off there was an extra tag on the shoes that I had not previously noticed. When I looked closer I realized on one side the tag had the zodiac sign for the Libra with some information listed- dates, gemstone etc.
It also said: Utopian and harmonious, carefree and outgoing, diplomatic and courteous. Those surely sounded like compliments to me. AND guess what? They were FOR me! I'm a LIBRA.
I promise I didn't even know the tag was on the shoes. BUT- hold on now because guess what the other side of the tag said.
"Look into the skies to see the signs
you are more than flesh & bone
you possess more power than gem or stone
you embody the brightest of all light
recognizing this energy requires keen sight
deal not with just the physical,
but also with the power of your third eye
seek that knowledge and apply
turn that knowledge into wisdom
and build a powerful, but peaceful kingdom
you may have been stifled, but now is your time
deal with self and you may find
total balance and complete sublime
just look into the skies to see the signs"
How did these shoes know everything going on in my life?! I love surprises like this when the world appears to align with everything on your mind and in your heart.
What's the world saying to you? Keep your eyes open, you never know how the message will be delivered!
I was recently nearing the end of a shopping adventure when I decided to make a last stop in a shoe department. I walked up to the 1st aisle and BAM! There sat this awesome pair of running shoes (I don't run, but the shoes are awesome). Immediately, my mind said, "Gosh I pray those are my size and feel good 'cause they are awesome looking!"
Woo Hoo they were my size and they felt good. They were a little more than I wanted to spend because I was in "bargain shopping" mode, but I put them in my buggy anyway.
After shopping and getting to my hotel, I began looking at all my purchases. Congratulating myself on a job well done.
I decided to put on my new shoes. When I took the tags off there was an extra tag on the shoes that I had not previously noticed. When I looked closer I realized on one side the tag had the zodiac sign for the Libra with some information listed- dates, gemstone etc.
It also said: Utopian and harmonious, carefree and outgoing, diplomatic and courteous. Those surely sounded like compliments to me. AND guess what? They were FOR me! I'm a LIBRA.
I promise I didn't even know the tag was on the shoes. BUT- hold on now because guess what the other side of the tag said.
"Look into the skies to see the signs
you are more than flesh & bone
you possess more power than gem or stone
you embody the brightest of all light
recognizing this energy requires keen sight
deal not with just the physical,
but also with the power of your third eye
seek that knowledge and apply
turn that knowledge into wisdom
and build a powerful, but peaceful kingdom
you may have been stifled, but now is your time
deal with self and you may find
total balance and complete sublime
just look into the skies to see the signs"
How did these shoes know everything going on in my life?! I love surprises like this when the world appears to align with everything on your mind and in your heart.
What's the world saying to you? Keep your eyes open, you never know how the message will be delivered!
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