Thursday, November 25, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
You’ve got to love the work you do before you can do the work you love.
Cha Ching! My brother said it would be okay for me to share this catchy phrase with you. He is the clever one who made the statement. On the surface, it sounds like a nice play on words or catchy phrase, but if you really take a minute to let it sink in, I think you’ll find there’s much more to it.
I have heard a message similar to this from several sources. Everyone puts their own twist on it, but I really like the way my brother summed it up. It’s quick and catchy- I like that kind of stuff. But dig into the deeper meaning. What I believe this really points to is the facts that you can’t do/be/have what you think you love, until you learn to love YOU in the moment.
Think about these questions: Are you in a job you dislike or even dread? Is your home depressing you so much that you feel the need to move to another? Do you believe your life would be better if you moved across the country; maybe across the world? Do you feel you’d be happier if you had a new mate? Have you heard yourself saying, “Life would be so much better if only my circumstances were different?” If you answered, “Yes” to any of these questions, I actually have one more question for you:
Do you really love yourself?
Chances are, you really don’t. So, you can change jobs. You can change homes. You can change zip codes. You can find a new mate. You can attempt to change those lousy circumstances. But until you learn to love yourself you will not be able to escape that which makes you miserable. This is the message of the catchy statement. When you take it down to its most raw form, the fact is that you can not make yourself happy by filling your life with “outside things.” Until you genuinely love yourself, you will not really be happy with your work, your relationships, your finances, your circumstances, your life.
What will it take for you to actually, genuinely love yourself? How can you find beauty in everyday life? What needs to change from the inside so that you can live as you want? It really isn’t about the outside. The work lies within.
Want to know the joy of self love and how it opens you up to your best life? Need someone to be honest with, without fear of judgment? Contact me. I will be glad to help you start your journey. Remember, you must make peace with yourself before you can have peace in any other part of your existence.
Let the journey begin!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Grandma's fingerprint shows up
I was blessed last evening to hear Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea, speak at the College of Charleston. Walking away and throughout the night and today I reflected upon his comments which steadily hailed the value of the elder members of society. He spoke of the ways their knowledge, wisdom, and experience come together to develop perspective. This can not be acquired until you reach the status of elder. You can't fake the wisdom that comes with age.
As I reflected on the importance the tribal elders play in the villages of which he spoke, I really was lead to think of my own family village; specifically of my mother and her influence on my oldest son, Matthew.
My son was such a "fast forty" as Mom called him. But she never sped up. She kept her pace - slow and steady. I'm sure there were times when this exasperated him, but most often, he slowed down because Grandma would take time with him. She listened, explained, watched, helped, and just like a wash cycle, she'd "lather, rinse, repeat."
Mom enjoyed simple things. She introduced my son to a world where music was made using a pot and a spoon, where the garden was not neatly trimmed, but nature was celebrated, and where reading was done before bedtime with Beatrix Potter's characters.
In a world of video games, hand helds, cartoons 24-7, the Internet and more, Grandma remained a natural draw. Never was going to Grandma's a dull time. In fact, on many occasions we would take cousins with us. Everyone just wanted to be with Grandma.
While the reasons for spending time at the feet of our elders are not always clear to the up and coming "fast forty" generation, it is clear to me that the past is our key to the future. It is also obvious to me, as I continue losing my mother to Alzheimer’s, that I will always have pieces of her in my midst- I just look at Matthew and see Mom's fingerprint is there.
Whose fingerprint is on your life? Who has influenced your children? Click on the comment button to leave a tribute to a special elder who has influenced your life- or is making a difference to your children.
As I reflected on the importance the tribal elders play in the villages of which he spoke, I really was lead to think of my own family village; specifically of my mother and her influence on my oldest son, Matthew.
My son was such a "fast forty" as Mom called him. But she never sped up. She kept her pace - slow and steady. I'm sure there were times when this exasperated him, but most often, he slowed down because Grandma would take time with him. She listened, explained, watched, helped, and just like a wash cycle, she'd "lather, rinse, repeat."
Mom enjoyed simple things. She introduced my son to a world where music was made using a pot and a spoon, where the garden was not neatly trimmed, but nature was celebrated, and where reading was done before bedtime with Beatrix Potter's characters.
In a world of video games, hand helds, cartoons 24-7, the Internet and more, Grandma remained a natural draw. Never was going to Grandma's a dull time. In fact, on many occasions we would take cousins with us. Everyone just wanted to be with Grandma.
 |
| Grandma, in the pink sweater, enjoys time with her sister and brother. |
As I see my son growing into a young man, I see Grandma's fingerprint on his life. I see it in how he holds the door for others. I see it in his manners, "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" have not gone to waste here. I see Grandma's fingerprint when Matthew cares for his younger brother or when he carries a suitcase for his aunt.
Whose fingerprint is on your life? Who has influenced your children? Click on the comment button to leave a tribute to a special elder who has influenced your life- or is making a difference to your children.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Do your words cause you grief? Small shifts can make a huge impact.
“Look out! Glass!” shouted my husband, Rett, while, he,
our s
on Cooper, and I were riding bikes the other day. We couldn't avoid the glass. Each of us swerved off the path but nonetheless, ended up riding through a bit of it. As we cleared the glass break from the path, Rett said, “I bet you one of us is going to get a flat tire.”
Pop! Flap, flap, flap- that was it; the tell-tale sign that one of us had a flat tire. Guess who …. You’re absolutely right; Rett!
This time was different though. Cooper, Rett, and I looked at each other. The moment was a bit eerie. He just said one of us would get a flat and one of us did. Not from the glass mind you, but from sand spurs. Was this coincidence or spoken words coming true?
I know when I say things that are negative like, “I’m so fat. I can’t ever stick to a diet.” Or “I can’t get out of debt,” I set myself up for hard times filled with sadness and frustration.
On the other hand, when I say, “I love my husband.” Or “I am thankful I have a job.” I find my life begins to fill with better emotion and things seem to become easier.
Please note I’m not a drastic talker. I simply learned to take my negatives and give them just a little tilt. For example, “I don’t even know where to start in this filthy den” can be turned into “I’ll pick up the stuff on the floor today.” When I reframe my thought, I open myself up to a completion. After I clear the floor, I have choices. I can quit because I’ve completed what I said I’d do [and that FEELS awesome!]; or I can choose to do one more task. Over time, that filthy den starts looking and feeling better to me and my “negative” begins to shift …. just because I tilted my words.
So what about YOUR spoken words? What kind of life are they leading you to live?
Consider this: take one of your “negatives” and tilt it just a little toward the positive. For example, “This house/apartment stinks” could be turned just a little to sound like this: “I’m glad I have a roof over my head” or “I like that little shelf.”
Once you clean up the way you speak about your present circumstance, you’ll begin to see opportunities for change. Helplessness and hopelessness begin to take a smaller seat in the rear, while solutions and possibilities will begin to rise to the front and expand. Everything starts in your mind. Speak what you seek!
Again, what are you saying? How can you tilt it, just a little, to change your circumstance or, at least, to change your perspective? Click the comment button and share your experience.
on Cooper, and I were riding bikes the other day. We couldn't avoid the glass. Each of us swerved off the path but nonetheless, ended up riding through a bit of it. As we cleared the glass break from the path, Rett said, “I bet you one of us is going to get a flat tire.” Pop! Flap, flap, flap- that was it; the tell-tale sign that one of us had a flat tire. Guess who …. You’re absolutely right; Rett!
We stopped riding and looked at the plethora of sandspurs that were in his tire. Amazing, I know; sand spurs? Yes, here along the Grand Strand, those things are killers for your bike tires. We’ve all fallen victim to them. On one ride I was actually taking a moment’s break and heard the tire hissing- only to find the supersized sandspur sticking out of my tire.
This time was different though. Cooper, Rett, and I looked at each other. The moment was a bit eerie. He just said one of us would get a flat and one of us did. Not from the glass mind you, but from sand spurs. Was this coincidence or spoken words coming true?
I’m a huge believer that what you speak you seek. For example, if you constantly say things like, “This is so hard.” “I don’t feel good.” “I can’t do this.”… you get the pattern. Weeeelllll…. things WILL be hard. You WON’T feel good, and you WON’T be able to do what
you want.
I know when I say things that are negative like, “I’m so fat. I can’t ever stick to a diet.” Or “I can’t get out of debt,” I set myself up for hard times filled with sadness and frustration.
On the other hand, when I say, “I love my husband.” Or “I am thankful I have a job.” I find my life begins to fill with better emotion and things seem to become easier.
Believe me, I don’t live in a dream world where I’m a size 8, with billions in the bank, married to the perfect man, in a job I’d do for free (not yet on the job- but working on that one ;) ). Nope; I live a normal life in my size 10 jeans (which I am ecstatic to be in); with more college and home improvement debt than I like to admit; I’m married to a regular guy and I’m in a job I like- but would not do for free. However, MY real life- the one I am creating daily- is radically different from the lives of so many people I know. Unlike lots of my peers, I feel happy! I wake up glad to be me …. and I love my family.
Please note I’m not a drastic talker. I simply learned to take my negatives and give them just a little tilt. For example, “I don’t even know where to start in this filthy den” can be turned into “I’ll pick up the stuff on the floor today.” When I reframe my thought, I open myself up to a completion. After I clear the floor, I have choices. I can quit because I’ve completed what I said I’d do [and that FEELS awesome!]; or I can choose to do one more task. Over time, that filthy den starts looking and feeling better to me and my “negative” begins to shift …. just because I tilted my words.
So what about YOUR spoken words? What kind of life are they leading you to live?
Consider this: take one of your “negatives” and tilt it just a little toward the positive. For example, “This house/apartment stinks” could be turned just a little to sound like this: “I’m glad I have a roof over my head” or “I like that little shelf.”
Once you clean up the way you speak about your present circumstance, you’ll begin to see opportunities for change. Helplessness and hopelessness begin to take a smaller seat in the rear, while solutions and possibilities will begin to rise to the front and expand. Everything starts in your mind. Speak what you seek!
Again, what are you saying? How can you tilt it, just a little, to change your circumstance or, at least, to change your perspective? Click the comment button and share your experience.
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