Let the Praise Germinate- It Might be more Powerful

This weekend my youngest son, Cooper, and I went to visit Grandma. This is my mother who lives in a nursing center in Charleston. My mother has Alzheimer's, however we all suffer from it.

Cooper and I visited Grandma and shortly sensed she needed to rest. We left and went over to Target. $15.00 and a GI Joe later, we returned to check on her and see if she was up to going out for supper. She was.

We went to dinner, but she again appeared restless so we ate and made our way toward the nursing home. On the way, we visited the drive through of Dunkin Donuts. Cooper and Grandma each ordered a donut for desert. We took them to the nursing center. After getting Grandma comfortable in her bed, Cooper began breaking out the donuts.

It is always a joy for me to watch my children when they "rise to the occasion," especially when they don't realize I'm looking. The patience and care Cooper took in getting Grandma's donut to her and enjoying his along with her made my night- not to mention Grandma's.

What a pleasure to watch my young son give my dear mother the joy of a lifetime- a simple shared donut- or was it a moment of love? I looked past the donut and reveled in the love.

I said nothing at the time, but made a point to tell Cooper of my pride and pleasure in his actions the next morning. By waiting until the next day, the impact was greater. As I finished my words, he smiled broadly, but said nothing. He didn't need a bribe, he didn't expect a treat. He acted from his heart and his inner feelings were validated and encouraged when he was not expecting it.

Next time your child does something you are proud of wait a moment- or over night. Then bring it back up with your compliments and watch what happens. You might just see this written on his/her face: "Hmm, if it matters so much Mom or Dad remembered it this morning, I should probably do it again."

Sunlight stressful? Yep, if it's bedtime.

The time change and switch to more daylight really messes with my little one. Tonight he cried when I told him it was 8:00pm. Through his tears he said, "I hate it being eight o'clock and still bright outside." Fortunately, by 8:30 the sun had disappeared and convincing him to go to bed was not as challenging as I anticipated. The key here is that I did anticipate the difficulty.

You know what helped the most? When I clued in to his distress, I didn't just shuffle him off to bed telling him it would be fine and ignoring his feelings. Instead, I took a few minutes to sit with him, get his book bag ready for school tomorrow, and read a story. After that, the move to bed time was easy.

I know as parents, we often are run by the clock and rush our children to school, sports, homework, bedtime... then do it all again. I challenge us each to slow down a bit. Take a few minutes to listen and respond to your child. Quit living by the clock. In the big scheme of things, what matters most?

Congenial or Collegial?

We're talking this month about being a member of a professional learning community. Think about what that means: "professional learning community." In every team there is a place for camaraderie, but the objective of a learning community is for teachers to work together in the spirit of growth that ultimately enhances student performance.

I have seen "teams" work from opposite ends of the spectrum and everywhere in between. In one school, I witnessed teams that were more congenial than collegial. In another school, I found teachers so wrapped in competition they could not work together.

The congenial teams were filled with teachers who had a great year building morale and enjoying each other as colleagues and friends. The enjoyment often spilled into the off hours, and there was a real sense of excitement about being at school to see each other. The problem was that students' performance was not enhanced by the relationships of the teachers.

On the other end of the spectrum, I have worked with schools that had such structured expectations of team performance that teachers dreaded going to work. The environment the administration was attempting to create actually backfired and teachers ran to their rooms to shut their doors.

What does this mean for your team? Take a good look at the way your team operates. Answer these three questions: 1. What are the goals your team works together to accomplish? (You do have established goals, don't you?) 2. How does your team spend the majority of its time together? (Does gossip take place during your team time- how much time?) 3. Do your students benefit? (How do you know?)

Your team can be successful. Take each question one by one and let your answers be your guide.