Monday, April 27, 2009

Let the Praise Germinate- It Might be more Powerful

This weekend my youngest son, Cooper, and I went to visit Grandma. This is my mother who lives in a nursing center in Charleston. My mother has Alzheimer's, however we all suffer from it.

Cooper and I visited Grandma and shortly sensed she needed to rest. We left and went over to Target. $15.00 and a GI Joe later, we returned to check on her and see if she was up to going out for supper. She was.

We went to dinner, but she again appeared restless so we ate and made our way toward the nursing home. On the way, we visited the drive through of Dunkin Donuts. Cooper and Grandma each ordered a donut for desert. We took them to the nursing center. After getting Grandma comfortable in her bed, Cooper began breaking out the donuts.

It is always a joy for me to watch my children when they "rise to the occasion," especially when they don't realize I'm looking. The patience and care Cooper took in getting Grandma's donut to her and enjoying his along with her made my night- not to mention Grandma's.

What a pleasure to watch my young son give my dear mother the joy of a lifetime- a simple shared donut- or was it a moment of love? I looked past the donut and reveled in the love.

I said nothing at the time, but made a point to tell Cooper of my pride and pleasure in his actions the next morning. By waiting until the next day, the impact was greater. As I finished my words, he smiled broadly, but said nothing. He didn't need a bribe, he didn't expect a treat. He acted from his heart and his inner feelings were validated and encouraged when he was not expecting it.

Next time your child does something you are proud of wait a moment- or over night. Then bring it back up with your compliments and watch what happens. You might just see this written on his/her face: "Hmm, if it matters so much Mom or Dad remembered it this morning, I should probably do it again."

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